Category Archives: funny

Week of March 2, 2015

Posted on by

Screen Shot 2015-03-05 at 10.51.31 PM

It’s that time of year again, folks. Spring Training is here!

Holding Back A Running Prodigy

According to running guru Alberto Salazar, Mary Cain has “as much talent as any young athlete I’ve ever seen in running in my life.” For now, though, she needs to take it slow. Writer Elizabeth Weil uses Cain as a jump point to examine a variety of subjects, including the physiological dangers in over-training young women, the positive impacts of a more matured Title IX, and how to approach practice when the intention is to peak in six or seven years from now. Thanks for sending this along, Jamie Morganstern. It’s a great read for everyone, but I think runners – especially female runners – will be fascinated. – PAL

Source: “Mary Cain Is Growing Up Fast”, Elizabeth Weil, The New York Times Magazine (3/4/15)

TOB: My grandparents (I think) got us our first subscription to Sports Illustrated when I was a kid. I’ll never forget the first issue we got – Jennifer Capriati’s “And She’s Only 13!” cover story after her run to the finals of a tournament in 1990. I’ll also never forget her fall from grace, culminating in her arrest in 1993. It is refreshing to read about a coach and parent who are not pressuring a young prodigy into too much too soon. I hope to hear Mary Cain’s name at the next Olympics.

“The Winds of Autumn are a Pirate…”

I say this with the knowledge that it is not necessarily a good thing: But I’d put my knowledge of sports trivia up against most. A big part of this is thanks to NFL Films – whose Super Bowl recaps I watched religiously as a kid. In the weeks leading up to the Super Bowl, ESPN would show them in chronological order, and I would tune in everyday after school to gobble it up. These days, NFL Films get the winning team’s Super Bowl recap together in a very short amount of time, complete with footage and audio from the game, sideline and huddle – all set to inspiring music. NFL Films is the best in the business. This is an interesting look at how that sausage gets made. -TOB

Source: “Monuments Men: Inside the Mad Scramble to Bring You Your Annual NFL Championship DVD”, Katie Baker, Grantland (03/02/2015)

PAL: For the past 7+ years I’ve worked at a company that shoots a lot of music performance videos. One of our biggest events is shooting concerts at the SXSW music festival. It’s a crazy amount of pre-production, man power, logistics, and media management…and that’s just for 15 bands over 3 days. The scale of what NFL Films does is staggering (covering 30 teams), and the efficiency with which they do it is masterful. A fun read on the cultural staple that is NFL Films. Also, please join me in supporting Tommy’s bid to get on Sport Jeopardy.

Game, Blouses

We all know and love the legendary Prince basketball skit from Chappelle Show. Well, here’s some evidence that Prince (5’2”) was a solid player for real, and he argued about playing time with his coach, too. The team photo alone is worth the click here, folks. A side note: while I love Bob Dylan, Prince is actually the musical icon of Minnesota. The dude still lives there, regularly goes to Timberwolves and Vikings games, and records his music right there in Minnesota. True blue Minnesotan. Got to love it. – PAL

Source: “Prince Was An Afro-Rocking, Coach- Hating Schoolboy Basketball Player”, Billy Haisley, Deadspin (3/3/15)

The Cardinals Can’t Stop Talking About Not Talking About Themselves

As far as rants go, Drew Magary dropped the mic on this one. Giants fans will get an additional kick out of this, too. The St. Louis Cardinals self-aggrandizement is insufferable, and writers who drink the punch on this line of B.S. are even worse. A writer from USA Today did a story about how the team lets its play to the talking for them. Naturally, the story is filled with quotes from several players and management talking about how “talk is cheap.”  Maybe I was only halfway into my coffee this morning, but I’m ready to loathe the Cardinals again. Ah, spring must be in the air. – PAL

Source: “Moron USA Today Columnist Thinks The Cardinals Poop Vanilla Sprinkles”, Drew Magary, Deadspin (3/4/15)

Video of the Week:

Bonus:

“About those sit-ups you want me to do. I got it right here in my contract – it says I don’t have to do any calisthenics I don’t feel are necessary. So, what do you think about that?”

– Roger Dorn

 

Week of January 26, 2015

Posted on by

kirby

Kirby Puckett says: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PHIL. ALWAYS WORK HARD AND RESPECT WOMEN.

A big birthday shoutout this week to my man Phil, who has just entered his Larry Bird year. 33! If you enjoy our blog, thank Phil as it was his idea.

Beast Mode: Back in the Day

Marshawn Lynch’s refusals to talk during media sessions (as he did last year), has quickly become the biggest story of Super Bowl Week. Today, on Day 3 of the stand-off, Marshawn asked the assembled hoard of reporters, “All week, I done told y’all what’s up, and for some reason, y’all continue to come back and do the same thing that y’all did.” Indeed, it is puzzling. It is unclear why they won’t just leave the guy alone. I guess it’s because they don’t have to. But Marshawn has not always been a closed book. He has opened up to reporters, even this week. As he is the biggest story of Super Bowl Week, eclipsing Ballghazi aka Deflategate, there were a LOT of stories about Marshawn this week. But the two best were these – written this week by writers who got to known Marshawn in the past, and are able to shed a little light on to who the guy is, and why he is so reluctant to speak. -TOB

Source: “Marshawn Lynch Resists Easy Media Definition”, Ted Miller, ESPN (01/27/15)

Source: “The Misunderstood Marshawn Lynch”, Jeffrey Chadiha, ESPN (01/27/15)

PAL Note: The only people who care about Lynch not talking to reporters are reporters, their employers, and the NFL. Oh, also Skittles and Progressive. They get to make funny commercials based off it. Regular people only care when athletes say something profane, stupid, or funny (hopefully all three at the same time). I’ll go back to one of my old standby lines: these are the types of “stories” that a 24-hour news (sports or otherwise) creates.

TOB: Also, please enjoy this video from Conan, with Marshawn and Rob Gronkowski playing Mortal Kombat.

Rob Gronkowski may not be a smart man, but he knows what love is.

Tom Brady: Profile of a Christopher Guest Character

Tom Brady is successful, and, according to the writer, “anything but a bonehead football player.” Yet, he comes off like a, well, a bimbo in this story. Like the best characters from all of the Christopher Guest movies, he seems to lack self-awareness outside the realm of the football field. I’ll let one quote do the heavy lifting for me: ‘He marched me back into the house, through the kitchen and past a shelf that displayed a large glass menorah. “We’re not Jewish,” Brady said when I asked him about this. “But I think we’re into everything. . . . I don’t know what I believe. I think there’s a belief system, I’m just not sure what it is.”’ There are two types of people that can say something like this and get away with it – really attractive women and Tom Brady. – PAL

TOB: If you’re looking for some laughs, read this story. Phil and I had a great time copy/pasting the best Tom Brady lines to each other as we read. Find a buddy and do the same.

Source: “Tom Brady Cannot Stop”, Mark Leibovich, The New York Times Magazine (1/26/15)

Cleveland Browns WR Josh Gordon Writes an Open Letter Regarding His Most Recent Transgression

You may not be all that familiar with Josh Gordon. He is a super talented wide receiver on the Cleveland Browns who has been repeatedly suspended by the NFL. Some necessary background:

  • In 2013, his second year in the NFL, he was suspended two games due to a violation of the substance abuse policy. He still had the best stats of any WR in the NFL that year.
  • In 2014, he was suspended the entire year (later reduced to 10 games) for (1) a DUI and for a failed marijuana test – and that was quite dubious. For NFL testing, they take two samples, arbitrarily labeled A and B. The A-sample barely hit the suspendable threshold, and that threshold is far lower than any other sports league, including the IOC. The B-sample was then tested and was below the NFL’s already low NFL threshold. Had the B-sample been tested first, Gordon would not have been suspended. But since the A-sample was tested first, and the B-sample had ANY trace of marijuana, the suspension stuck. Stupid.
  • And just last weekend, news broke that Gordon had failed a drug test again and would be suspended for all of 2015. As a person with Josh Gordon on my keeper fantasy league, I was distraught. Distraught!
  • In the aftermath of that news, many former athletes and current media members, including Charles Barkley and Cris Carter (he a recovering alcoholic who almost lost his NFL career before it started because of it) began pontificating that “we” are dealing with a substance abuse problem and that Josh Gordon needs help before he kills himself. The usual.

And then today I found this story, with very little fanfare. I haven’t seen it all over Twitter. Or ESPN. Or Deadspin. Or anywhere else. And I’m not sure why. Josh Gordon, with great eloquence and passion, defended himself and set the record straight about the nature of his “problem” and the facts behind his suspensions. It is quite persuasive. And, in light of the Marshawn Lynch hoopla this week, it reminds me of why some athletes do not trust the media – the media will publish half-truths and poorly-sourced rumors, and the athletes have very little recourse. I’ve heard media members “diagnose” Marshawn Lynch with a social anxiety disorder. The dude doesn’t have a social anxiety disorder. He just doesn’t want to talk to the media! And while Josh Gordon is definitely facing some adversity and needs to mature, Charles Barkley and Cris Carter and Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless are not doctors and they’ve never met Josh Gordon. Why don’t “we” stop trying to diagnose him (or others) with drug and/or alcohol addiction (or anything else)? -TOB

Source: “An Open Letter to Charles Barkley & Co.”, by Josh Gordon, Medium.com (01/28/15)

PAL Note: I have three points to make on this story:

  • Josh Gordon is 23. That’s young. I did a lot of dumb stuff between the ages of 20-23. I did not live like an adult. He can figure this out.
  • Stephen A. Smith, Skip Bayless, and Cris Carter can all go jump in a lake. Also, who watches Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless anymore? Didn’t their schtick give everyone else a migraine years ago?
  • Whether or not it’s fair, Josh Gordon needs to stay away from weed and booze if he wants to make a career in the NFL. His talent will win out if he can do that. It’s not the severity of the incidents, but rather the sum of the incidents that is problematic.

Jay Cutler Has Had It Up to HERE With These Damn Kids

As a new dad, I get the sentiment. I’ve never threatened to leave my child unattended while my wife is out, but on at least two occasions when she has texted to ask how things are going, I responded by simply sending a voice text of our screaming baby. She did return the favor once, though. -TOB

Source: “Jay Cutler Is One Fed Up Dad”, Tom Ley, Deadspin (01/26/15)

PAL Note: I feel uncomfortable liking Jay Cutler just a little bit after reading this.

Video of the Week

This week’s video is a fully-serious, not-at-all tongue-in-cheek, six-minute video of some of the greatest archery you’ll ever see. He pulls a Robin Hood! He even catches an arrow and shoots it back at his assailant. Rollerblades make an appearance! Enjoy.

Like what you’ve read? Let us know by following this blog (on the right side, up near the top), or:

Email: 123sportslist@gmail.com

Twitter: @123sportsdigest

“I didn’t make that! It fell out of your hair that way!”

– Ethan

Week of January 12, 2015

Posted on by

charles-barkley-fedora

Chucky, wassup?

Yes, EVEN MORE on the Ray Rice/NFL Story. But This Is Important.

The Robert Mueller “independent” report on the NFL’s response to the Ray Rice “scandal” came out last week. This story is so tiresome. We are tired of reading about it. We are tired of writing about it, and in fact I think this is like the fifth time that 123 Sports has said something to the effect of, “We are tired of writing about this story, but…” And so it is with some reluctance that we bring you this story. HOWEVER. As Michael Rosenberg writes, “In fact, this whole report is supposed to be part of the lie, which is ongoing and will probably not end until you forget this incident, or simply get tired of it.” He’s right. This is important. The Mueller report is Grade-A b.s., intended to divert our attention away from the real issues. Goodell asked Mueller to answer the wrong questions, so that Goodell could get the answers he wanted. And he did. Please read this story. Goodell is a horrible human. -TOB

Source: “Mueller Report Underscores Roger Goodell’s Deceit In Ray Rice Case”, Michael Rosenberg (01/08/15)

PAL: The argument for Goodell keeping his job as NFL Commissioner is, to my understanding, as follows: (1) he takes the bullets so the owners don’t have to, and (2) the NFL is  wiping its butt with cash under his leadership (TV deals, launching the NFL network, involvement in negotiating the current collective bargaining agreement). Someone needs to explain to me why another qualified executive wouldn’t be able to perform those tasks just as well as Goodell without the PR nightmare he’s bolted to following the handling of Ray Rice. Also, why aren’t people going after the owners on this? Goodell works for them, after all.

TOB: I want to add – Deadspin’s Drew Magary made an excellent argument for the NFL’s long term popularity problem in an article this week: Kids today care more about games/social interaction on their phones/tablets over watching four-hour sporting events.  And the problem for football, is that it, more than any other American sport , takes time and patience – there are a lot of rules you need to learn to understand the game, and that takes a lot of football watching to gain. Drew wonders if kids today will ever put in the time to understand football. I recommend you read it. Here.

How Does One Come Back From the Loss of Two Children? You Just Do.

This story is not an easy read. Most baseball fans will remember Hirschbeck as the ump who Roberto Alomar spit on back in 1996. What this story will tell you about is the unfair amount of tragedy Hirschbeck has had to deal with in his life. He had two sons diagnosed with a rare and deadly disease – ALD. In 1993, his oldest son died in his parents’ arms. He was 8 years old. His youngest son fought the odds and survived childhood – only to die last April from a seizure related to ALD. His parents were asleep in the house when he died. In between those tragic events, Hirschbeck twice fought off cancer. You might think someone who has survived such heartache would be bitter. But not Hirschbeck:

“Believe me,” Hirschbeck says, “if someone had told me when I was a young dad like you that this is what’s going to happen, I’d say, ‘Give me a gun! I’m out! I’m shooting myself right now!’ But when you’re faced with something, you just say, ‘Why not me? Why should it be anybody else? What makes me different?’ You have to realize that. Otherwise, you’re going to cry for yourself forever.”

We can all only hope to be that strong in the face of such pain. -TOB

Source: “John Hirschbeck’s Survival Guide”, Anthony Castrovince, Sports on Earth (01/13/15)

PAL: Hirschbeck is tough, and not in the b.s. stoic way. He’s crushed by these tragedies, but still moves forward with some aspects of his life. That’s toughness. This is one of those stories I read and really doubt whether I could take what Hirschbeck, his wife, and two daughters have gone through. Best of everything to the Hirschbecks.

Kurt Busch’s Ex Is A WHAT (allegedly)?

Nascar is dumb, but this story is fun. Fun > Dumb. Kurt Busch makes left turns for a living, and allegedly got into a physical altercation with his girlfriend. They’re in court right now, and part of Busch’s defense is that he didn’t do it because Patricia Driscoll could kill him…because she’s an assassin. Here is a thorough back story on Driscoll that makes it at least appear that the Busch’s claim isn’t that out of left field. The accompanying profile video on Driscoll is hilarious, too. – PAL

Source: “Testimony: Kurt Busch Ex Terrible At Keeping Assassin Gig On The Downlow”, Stef Schrader, Jalopnik (1/14/15)

TOB: This is great writing. When I read the headline I thought, “This is going to be the dumbest thing I read all week.” But…as Phil suggests… somehow it makes sense! She’s totally an assassin! I’m all in on this and I can’t wait for the resolution.

Locker Room Butts.

There’s nothing groundbreaking about this article. It’s a fairly short look at the history of cigarette smokers in the NBA. I’m a non-smoker. A never-smoker. I hate smoking. But this cracked me up, especially this quote from Celtic Hall of Famer Bob Cousy:

“I was a nonsmoker. I eventually smoked cigars for 20 years. One of the many bad habits I picked up from Arnold [“Red”] Auerbach. He and I used to go to Europe together, so I had to protect myself and start smoking those damn things myself. Otherwise I’d inhale his smoke. But I never smoked cigarettes. When we were kids we didn’t have money to buy anything. Damn cigarettes were too expensive. Other than drinking a lot of beer, which we picked up in college — that was the extent of our vices. We did like girls, I think. Although it being so long, I can’t rely on my memory for that either.”

*ba dum tsh!*. Also, big ups to my boy Vlade Divac, who stars in this article, and whose honor I once defended so hard that I “c-walked” through a window. True story. I got witnesses. -TOB

Source: “Smoking in the Boys Room”, Amos Barshad, Grantland (01/14/15)

It’s Not Me; It’s You: Mark Jackson Calls A Warriors Game

Quick recap: Mark Jackson coached the Warriors to the team’s first back-to-back playoff appearances in 20 years. He was fired. Steve Kerr takes over as coach. The team is 31-5 and a legit contender. A week ago, Jackson called the nationally televised game between the Warriors and the Cleveland Cavaliers. The scenario is fascinating. Guy who gets fired from a good team he helped turn around gets to call their game for a national audience. They now look like a great team under new coach, which forces the question of whether Jackson was a good coach who got a franchise over a hump, or if he underachieved with a great roster. Jackson handles the situation like a teenager and pretty much talks crap about his ex on TV. Class, class, class. – PAL

Source: “Mark Jackson Returned To Oracle Arena And Threw Shade: An Explainer”, Kevin Draper, Deadspin (1/14/15)

TOB: Ugh, Mark Jackson is such a tool. Also, I like Jeff Van Gundy a lot – but what a load of bull he was trying to sell. As Draper points out, Steve Kerr has taken almost exactly the same roster and has them at 31-5 – on pace for SEVENTY ONE wins. The NBA record is 72, set by the 1996 Chicago Bulls. Last year, under Mark Jackson, the Warriors won just 51, and were sixth in the Western Conference. So, no, Jeff, this isn’t about an improved roster. It’s about a coach who can spout more than empty platitudes and catchphrases, and who knows how to coach a team – both schematically and in terms of managing personalities.

Video of the Week

Click here.

1) Bill Walton trying to give his announcing partner, Bill Pasch, a copy of Charles Darwin’s “The Origin of Species” as a present.

2) Pasch “outing” himself as a creationist.

3) Jay Bilas touting the greatness of Sactown’s own Cake.

Like what you’ve read? Let us know by following this blog (on the right side, up near the top), or:

Email: 123sportslist@gmail.com

Twitter: @123sportsdigest

“One plus one is two, all day long, and it’s never gonna change. And that’s factorial.”

-Stephon Marbury

 

Week of October 20, 2014

Posted on by

Screen Shot 2014-10-23 at 8.37.25 PM

Giants Don’t Rise to the Occasion

And that’s what makes the San Francisco Giants of the last five years great. OK, let’s set aside Wednesday’s bullpen debacle (like many of you, I’m done with the Hunter Strickland experiment). How else can you explain a team making it back to the World Series without: A) their lead-off hitter (honestly, when’s the last time Angel Pagan entered your mind?), B) their starting 2nd baseman/#2 hitter/2012 post-season hero (Marco Scutaro), and C) two of their five starting pitchers (Cain and Lincecum)? I’ve never bought in to the notion that sabermetrics (empirical analysis) and the intangibles are an either/or situation. Why can’t a team’s WHIP and team’s chemistry be appreciated by the same person? Why must we be able to attach a numerical valuation to every goddamn aspect of my favorite sport, and why can’t the “old school” and the “new school” meet somewhere in the middle? I’m a big believer in the self-fulfilling prophecy, and I’m also a big believer in Pablo Sandoval’s 1.305 OPS in the World Series. -PAL

Source: “Giants’ brotherhood, consistency paying dividends in October”; Michael Rosenberg; Sports Illustrated (10/22/14)

Concussions: When Is Enough Enough?NHL star Patrice Bergeron suffered a severe concussion in 2005 that almost ended his career. Some attribute Bergeron’s willingness to speak out about the side effects of the injury to the NHL’s advances in dealing with concussions. Players are no longer told to “shake off the cobwebs,” and that’s a good thing. It’s a very good article, but I find it troubling that Pierce mentions Bergeron’s multiple concussions since 2005 without any suggestion that, by continuing to play, Bergeron is jeopardizing his chances of living a long and normal life. Or rather, he acknowledges it, but it doesn’t bother him. He closes the article, “He has counted the cost more closely than most. He has given the game his informed consent.” I find this sentiment sad. We all know the story of players like Junior Seau. I hope Patrice Bergeron, no matter how good he might be, is able to get out before it’s too late. -TOB

Source: “Cerebral Commotion: Patrice Bergeron’s Quiet Concussion Radicalism”, by Charles P. Pierce, Grantland (10/23/14)

PAL Note: I really like the sentiment of Pierce’s story here. Bergeron is tough in the traditional sense of the word, but the idea of open honesty being considered a type of toughness makes sense, especially in the context of such a masculine sport. Also, like Tommy, I’m concerned for this dude.

After the Storm at Penn State

It’s been three years since the Jerry Sandusky scandal at Penn State. Incoming freshman were 14 when the story broke. The tragedy is old, depressing, tired, and still infuriating (he was found guilty of raping kids, and I don’t know why we call it by any other name); however, it takes years for us to grasp a story of this magnitude. Perspective and time have never been more important than right at this moment when our attention span has been reduced to seconds. We have to remember to look back at a story after the headline has passed. While I think the last part of the article fans out pretty wide, it’s an important read. -PAL

Source: “Forever changed: Where is Penn State three years after Sandusky scandal?”; Tim Layden; Sports Illustrated (10/23/14)

A Race Car Fueled By Marijuana

In May 1986, IndyCar racer Randy Lanier won the Indy 500 Rookie of the Year Award. He appeared on the verge of stardom. By the fall, he had been arrested and was facing a lifetime in prison. Lanier had come out of nowhere, and his sponsors were few. People wondered where the money was coming from. As the world would soon find out, Lanier was a marijuana kingpin. He was arrested and convicted, and under harsh new laws, he was sentenced to life in prison without parole. His story is a fascinating one. -TOB

Source: “The Man Who Turned Speedboats Full of Weed Into Indy 500 Glory”, by Patrick George, Jalopnik (10/22/14)

PAL Note: So, when is this movie coming out, because I really want to see it. What an insane story. Can you imagine – I mean, can you freakin’ imagine – taking a speed boat down to the Bahamas, filling it with weed, then driving back to Florida and getting in a race car and going 200 MPH? This guy was a rock star! I would need a diaper, a barf bag, and a life jacket.

Short-Shorts: Not Officially Dead

Ladies, rejoice! L.A. Clipper Chris Douglas-Roberts (aka CDR) was a favorite of mine when he was in college at Memphis. He has bounced around the league in the ensuing years, but he is making headlines as we head into the NBA season. Not for his play – but because he is choosing to bring back short-shorts. This is at once terrifying and hilarious. Good job, CDR. -TOB

Source: “Clippers’ Chris Douglas-Roberts is Medium-Cool with His Short-Shorts“, by Ben Bolch & Nathan Fenno, Los Angeles Times (10/21/14)

PAL Note: Please. They are just regular shorts! Comparatively speaking – yes – they are short by NBA standards, but they are normal length. Call me when he fully commits to this, a la John Stockton.

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Like what you’ve read? Let us know by following this blog (on the right side, up near the top), or: Email: 123sportslist@gmail.com

Twitter: @123sportsnews

“What do you know about Tweetle Beetles? Well…”

-Dr. Seuss

Week of October 13, 2014

Posted on by

B0H9fRgCMAEf0dc

When the Greatest Basketball Player on Earth Went to Alcatraz

Phil’s alma mater, the University of San Francisco Dons, won two NCAA national championships in men’s basketball in the 1950’s, led by future NBA hall of famers Bill Russell and K.C. Jones. It’s pretty remarkable to think about now, and it would have been fun to be living here when they were dominating from their tiny school that did not even have its own gym at the time. If they made a tourney run now, you’re damn right I’d jump on that bandwagon. Well, back in the 1950’s, the inmates at Alcatraz felt the same way. The Dons had a lot of fans on The Rock, and when the inmates asked the prison chaplain, who doubled as a professor at USF, if he could bring some of the players to meet them, he was happy to oblige. The players were welcomed like conquering heroes, and all seem to look back on it fondly. This is a pretty cool story, made even more interesting because it had been previously unreported, nearly 60 years later. -TOB

Source:”Bill Russell, KC Jones Treated Like “Rock” Stars at Alcatraz”, by Baxter Holmes, Boston Globe (10/11/14)

The Giants Win the Pennant! The Giants Win the Pennant!

I’m writing this less than two hours after the Giants finished off the Cardinals to win their third National League pennant in five years. So with that in mind, I say: Baseball is friggin great. But, baseball has a lot of detractors: People say the games last too long, despite being shorter than football. Others say the games are too slow/boring. Well, as my good friend Ryan Rowe once said, “Baseball is a thinking man’s game. I wouldn’t expect you to understand it.” I think the biggest criticism of baseball that I actually agree with is the claim that it is too regional. Here’s the thing about baseball: When your favorite baseball team is good, the summer zooms by. No matter what else happens, you have your baseball team to look forward to at the end of the day. Because they play every day for six months, you really start to feel a part of the team. Unlike football, where a deep playoff run is just two or three games, in a deep baseball playoff run, your team plays almost every day for a month. Every pitch brings anxiety, but it’s the good kind of anxiety. Your liver is about the only thing in town not having a great time. But I get it – if your team sucks, the season is unbearable. When the Giants weren’t in the playoffs last year, I could barely drag myself to watch. That is not true for me with basketball and football. And I love baseball! But this postseason has been especially dramatic. Here, Jason Gay of the Wall Street Journal discusses baseball’s problems, but argues that the only cure baseball needs is the postseason. Thankfully, that comes around every October. -TOB

Source: “Baseball Makes Its Dramatic Case”, by Jason Gay, Wall Street Journal (10/06/14)

For the Last Time This Month, I Give Props to a Royals Pitcher

One of the coolest/weirdest things about Twitter, is how it puts us in touch with celebrities/athletes/politicians/etc. that until this point in history, we had no chance of being in contact with. It’s pretty cool when you tweet at a famous person and they reply. It’s also pretty weird. This is a great little snapshot into the coolness/weirdness of these interactions. A Kansas City Royals fan jokingly (?) tweets at a Royals pitcher, saying he’s too broke to buy tickets to the ALCS, but really wants to bring his girlfriend. Surprisingly, the pitcher, Brandon Finnegan, actually replies. And hooks the dude up with two tickets. And – he may have also treated him to dinner? What a cool/weird time we live in. And a tip of the cap to Brandon Finnegan – good lookin’ out! Of course, now that you’re facing the Giants in the World Series: Die like a dog. -TOB

Source: “Royals Pitcher Gives Playoff Tickets to Broke Dude on Twitter“, Tom Ley, Deadspin (10/14/14)

You Play for Cleveland, LeBron. Remember?

This is a short and admittedly insignificant story, but I find myself coming back to it. LeBron James, while playing against Miami Heat in a pre-season game, appeared to set a pick against the wrong team. After 4 years playing for Miami, I can understand the brief mental lapse, yet he denies that’s what happened. Compared to LeBron James, I know nothing about basketball, but I’ve watched the video 10 times now, and he absolutely sets a pick for the wrong team. Why does LeBron lie about something as insignificant as a pick in a pre-season game? Just goes to show you – never trust the Cowboy/Yankee fan combo (LeBron is one of these folks). -PAL

Source: “LeBron Denies Forgetting Which Team He Plays For Now”; by Barry Petchesky, Deadspin (10/16/14)

-TOB Note: I’m siding with LeBron.

Sumo School Keeps Calligraphy Alive 

This is largely a photo story, but it’s too good to keep from you. Sumo school curriculum includes history of sumo (obviously), sports medicine (makes sense, but don’t they have trainers for that?), biology (um), traditional singing (I want to go there), and Japanese calligraphy (click on the link already, folks). This all takes place in what looks like a second grade classroom. I repeat, massive sumo apprentices go to class (shirtless, for some reason) for 6 months to paint calligraphy, sing songs, and drill the differences between meiosis and mitosis. No wonder Japan is kicking our ass in the classroom – our athletes don’t go to class while their athletes are learning calligraphy. -PAL

Source: “Sumo School is a Magical Place”; Brian Ashcraft, Kotaku (10/14/14)

Video of the Week

Usually we only do one video of the week, but this week we could not help it. We present you with the following:

1. Hockey fan from Columbus, pretty much summing up my stereotypes about both hockey fans and people from Columbus.

2. Fox Deportes with an EPIC call of Ishikawa’s walk-off homer to deliver the Giants the pennant (no embed available)

http://deadspin.com/giants-win-the-pennant-on-travis-ishikawa-walk-off-home-1647464716

3. Classic brother-on-brother sports-related pain. In slow-mo!

Like what you’ve read? Let us know by following this blog (on the right side, up near the top), or: Email: 123sportslist@gmail.com

Twitter: @123sportsnews

QUOTE

“We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets heads are falling off!”

-Lloyd Christmas

 P.S.

IMG_6316

Not a bad Thursday night.

Week of June 16, 2014

Posted on by

Screen Shot 2014-06-20 at 9.09.14 AM

RIP Tony Gwynn

Two stories for the one of the greatest hitters of all-time, a genuinely good man, one who died too young. As you probably heard, Tony Gwynn died this week, after a long and difficult battle with cancer. On Father’s Day, the day before his death, the first story was published. It’s about Tony and his son, Tony Jr. Read it, then call your father. The second story, a tribute from a former Padre bat boy, who Tony made feel special when many other ballplayers did not. It provides insight into a ballplayer that most of us do not ever receive. And, for once, that insight makes you appreciate the player more than you did from before. Rest in peace, Tony. -TOB

Source: “The Gwynn Men: A Son’s Love, A Father’s Fight”, by Jim Salisbury, Comcast Sportsnet (06/15/14); “I Was Tony Gwynn’s Bat Boy”, by David Johnson, Deadspin (06/17/14)

Soccer for Dummies

Are you enjoying the World Cup, but want to know more about the strategy involved? This is a good start. -TOB

Source: “How to Watch the World Cup Like a True Soccer Nerd”, by Mike L. Goodman, Grantland (06/06/14)

Meet the Rocky of distance running

We’re getting into marathon season. For most of us, that means suffering through bar conversations about your friend’s mileage this week (full disclosure: I’m guilty of this stupidity). But Steve Jones — even his name is unremarkable — has a pretty great story of how he came out of nowhere to be one of the best marathoners in the world, all while never wearing a watch. -PAL

Source: “I Never Wore A Watch”: Running Lessons From A Record-Breaking Everyman, by Sarah Barker, Fittish (5/21/14)

The Melkman Continues to Deliver

In 2012, Melky Cabrera came out of nowhere to win the All-Star Game MVP, lead the league in batting, and help spur a Giants run to the postseason, which eventually ended in their second World Series title in three years. As he did so, Melky became a fan favorite in SF. But in early August, he was suspended for testing positive for PEDs (and even more shameful, for a bizarre attempt to cover it up). Two years later, now in Toronto, Melky is quietly among the league leaders in hitting (and may even start in the All Star game), as he attempts to move on from his mistakes. -TOB

Story Link: “Melky Cabrera on His Own Little Island”, Jerry Crasnick, ESPN (05/13/14)

Like a fart in church, athletes trying to be musicians is always funny.

An updated list of the worst musical forays. I’ve never liked Tim McCarver, but his contribution to this list almost salvages our relationship. I’m left with a lot of questions. Why does the WSJ have the exclusive on this? More importantly, who’s the best “slash” in the world of athlete/musician?

Story Link: “Listen to the New Rap Song by World Cup Player Clint Dempsey”, Andrew Beaton & Hannah Karp, The WSJ Blog (6/18/14)

 

Video of the week: Scorpion kick! 

Like what you’ve read? Let us know by following this blog (on the right side, up near the top), or: Email: 123sportslist@gmail.com

Twitter: @123sportsnews

“Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I would have sons like these.”  – Herman Blume

Week of May 26, 2014

Posted on by
No wonder Pedro Martinez had such nasty movement.

No wonder Pedro Martinez had nasty movement.

A Nation Turns Its Lonely Eyes To…Whom?

Late last week, coach Jürgen Klinsmann finalized his 23-man roster for next month’s World Cup. The greatest U.S. soccer player ever was not on that list. The decision was not without controversy. No matter how the team does in Brazil, we’ll never be sure if it was the right one. But his international career is, effectively, over. While it had its ups and downs, Landon will go down as our best, producing some of the most thrilling moments in American soccer history, and it sure is fun to look back. -TOB

Story Link: “Landon Donovan Was Our Savior All Along”, Greg Howard, Deadspin (05/23/14)

Alex Honnald just might be the best (and most insane) athlete in the world.

Old story, but worth the read, since this dude is (incredibly) still alive. Alex Honnald is a dopey kid from Sacramento. You’ve probably never heard of him, but he’s better at his sport than LeBron James is at basketball. His sport: Free soloing. He climbs massive cliffs without a rope. The chances are likely that he’ll die in the near future…or is he just that good? What kind of person gets into a sport like this? A really unassuming kid doing things that have never been done . – PAL

Story Link: “No Strings Attached”, David Roberts, Outside (4/11/11)

Anyone want to host the Olympics? Nope.

It seems cities are wizening up to the economic land mine that is hosting the Olympics. The host of the 2022 Winter Games will be announced within a year, and the majority of the finalist cities have already pulled out, because–really–who the hell wants to build a bobsled course? Mostly, these cities have found little to no public support when it comes to sinking $50 billion into a two week event, but overthrown governments have factored in, as well (I’m looking at you, Ukraine). Who’s ready to go back to China? – PAL

Story Link: “Nobody Wants To Host The 2022 Olympics”, Barry Petchesky, Deadspin (5/29/14)

TOB Note: I wonder what they’d do if no viable city bid. Antartica 2022!

Pay No Attention To That Man Behind the Curtain!

Actually, pay attention. Pedro Martinez provides insight into how he approached the art of the game. A rare look into the internal workings of a pitching wizard.

Story Link: “Pedro Martinez on the Art and Science of Pitching”, Dave Laurila, Fangraphs (05/23/14) – TOB

PAL Note: It’s all about that one quote (you’ll find it). Also, he has alien fingers. 

Chris Bosh Is Better Than You Think He Is.

In Toronto, Chris Bosh was a star on a bad team – he put up big numbers and set himself up for a max contract, but his team lost – a lot. Instead of being content to be the big fish in the little pond, he took less money and less touches in order to win championships. As Miami looks headed for their fourth straight NBA Finals, and possibly their third straight title, Bosh looks back at the sacrifices he has made, and the ways his game has evolved, to make it all happen. Also, he once campaigned to make the All-Star team with this video. -TOB

Story Link: “Best Supporting Actor”, Kirk Goldsberry, Grantland (05/28/14)

PAL Note: I love his honesty when asked why his shooting percentage is so high near the rim – With LeBron and Wade driving to the hoop, “I’m wide open most of the time.”

Video of the Week:

Like what you’ve read? Let us know by following this blog (on the right side, up near the top), or:

Email: 123sportslist@gmail.com

Twitter: @123sportsnews

“Your hand and the ball is a marriage that should never end. The pitcher and the ball should be married forever. Hands, fingers, the ball – they should be married forever.”

– Pedro Martinez

Week of May 4, 2014

Posted on by
You'll get this if you read these articles, and you'll laugh.

You’ll get this if you read these articles, and you’ll laugh.

PAL: Where the hell did the “Shooter’s Sleeve” come from?

You’ve all seen it, and we’ve probably joked about sporting the sleeve at a pickup game, but here’s a quick history on how the elbow sleeve was born in the NBA. The “inventor” is now the LAX trainer for Villanova (obviously), and earliest versions were sewn by an old lady.

Source: Jay Caspian Kang, The New Yorker (5/6/14)

TOB note: Read this today and loved it. And when you say “joked” – you mean actually took a long sleeve UnderArmour shirt, cut the sleeve off, and wore it during an Adult Rec League basketball game, right? Because I did NOT do that.

 

TOB: Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That, But Uh…

If you’ve known me for a while, you know I have a theory about how hetero/homosexuality is not as black and white in other cultures as it is in the U.S. Specifically, in Arab and Latin American Cultures. This theory is based purely on anecdotal evidence (an Iranian roommate in college and some observed horseplay between Bobby Abreu and some fellow Latinos during the 2005 Home Run Derby). This article is old, but I stumbled upon it this week. It is an excerpt from a book written by a former minor league pitcher in the Angels organization (Odd Man Out). At one point the author was on a team with current major leaguers Erick Aybar and Alberto Callaspo. This is, apparently, a true story. I present it without further comment.

Source: Eric Stephen, SB Nation Los Angeles (07/22/2010)

PAL note: Only ketchup? Where’s the love for mustard?

 

PAL: What would Usain Bolt’s 40 time be at the NFL Combine?

Here’s an NFL Draft story that’s actually interesting. He’s the fastest dude ever, and his “splits” (if you can call them that in the 100-meter) put him at a sub 4.0 40-yard dash. That’s insane. However, the “Sultan of Dash” – the dude who’s been the official starter for the 40 at the Combine – has some interesting thoughts on why he thinks Bolt might not be that fast.

Source: Dan Hanzus, NFL.com (8/7/12)

 

 

TOB: When to Hold ‘Em, and When to Fold ‘Em

Everyone knows The San Jose Sharks choke every year. The core of the team is soft. They aren’t winners. It’s time to blow it up and begin anew. Or is it? Deadspin’s Ryan Lambert takes the stance that the Sharks have had some bad luck in playoff matchups, points out that the Sharks are one of the winningest teams over the last decade or so, and that the small sample size of the playoffs is more or less a crapshoot. Should the Sharks just roll the dice for another year? Included is a companion piece on Sharks star Joe Thornton and his label as “not a winner”.

Source: Ryan Lambert, Deadspin (05/02/14); Companion piece: Sean McIndoe, Grantland (05/05/14)

PAL note: Isn’t the fact that they are one of the winningest teams over the last decade, yet haven’t even made the finals, all the more reason to mix up the recipe? How would the opinion change if we were talking about the team a fan is most passionate about – say the Giants or the Niners?

 

Video of The Week: Brandon Crawford ground ball pimp game is stronger than most home run pimp jobs. Have a great weekend, folks.

TOB note: My favorite is the 1:12 mark. The behind the back bounce pass!

If you enjoyed this, please let us know. If you’d like off the list, too bad.

 

“But here’s my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything, but they can’t buy backbone. Don’t let them forget it. Thank you.”

 

– Herman Blume